Hot Jokes
We encouraged our 18-year-old daughter to find a job to help pay for her
college education.
One day she came home with five applications, and later that evening we read
them.
Under "Previous Employment," she listed "Baby-sitting."
And under "Reason for Leaving" she wrote, "They came home."
........................
college education.
One day she came home with five applications, and later that evening we read
them.
Under "Previous Employment," she listed "Baby-sitting."
And under "Reason for Leaving" she wrote, "They came home."
........................
The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake
near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides
to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude.
"That's okay with me, honey," says her husband. "I'll go get
some wood for the fire." About thirty minutes later, the
husband returns to the campsite and finds his wife in tears.
One of her breasts has been painted green, the other red and
her bottom is blue. "What on earth happened to you dear?"
he asks.
"Some of those rednecks from town came over and told me
they don't allow any nakedness around these parts. Then
they gave me this paint job!"
"Those troublemakers! I'll fix them!" the husband shouts. He
rides into town and finds the rednecks in a bar. "Who is the
jerk who painted my wife red, green and blue!" he shouts.
A huge man, about 6' 8", steps forward, a shotgun in his
hands. "I did it," he bellows. "What you got to say about it?"
The husband answers meekly, "I just wanted you to know the
first coat of paint is dry."
near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides
to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude.
"That's okay with me, honey," says her husband. "I'll go get
some wood for the fire." About thirty minutes later, the
husband returns to the campsite and finds his wife in tears.
One of her breasts has been painted green, the other red and
her bottom is blue. "What on earth happened to you dear?"
he asks.
"Some of those rednecks from town came over and told me
they don't allow any nakedness around these parts. Then
they gave me this paint job!"
"Those troublemakers! I'll fix them!" the husband shouts. He
rides into town and finds the rednecks in a bar. "Who is the
jerk who painted my wife red, green and blue!" he shouts.
A huge man, about 6' 8", steps forward, a shotgun in his
hands. "I did it," he bellows. "What you got to say about it?"
The husband answers meekly, "I just wanted you to know the
first coat of paint is dry."
*************************************************************************************
A woman calls her lawyer and asks...
"With all the lawsuits going on, I want to get in on some of that
action. I hear people are suing cigarette companies because they got
cancer
and others are suing McDonalds because they got fat."
Lawyer: "And which one of those categories do you fit under?"
Woman: "Neither. I just want to know if I can sue Smirnoff Ice for all
the ugly men I've slept with?"
--------------------------------
The head nurse was nearing retirement, she had seen
just about everything come through the hospital's
labor and delivery unit and always remained calm and
unruffled. A sixteen-year-old in labor was having a
lot of pain, writhing on the bed, fighting her
contractions, swearing, and refusing to consider
epidural analgesia. Streams of obscenities erupted
from her room and the girl yelled F**K right into the
nurse's face.
With absolute calm, the nurse patted the girl's arm
and said, "You've already done that part. Now it's
time to have the baby."
........................
A woman calls her lawyer and asks...
"With all the lawsuits going on, I want to get in on some of that
action. I hear people are suing cigarette companies because they got
cancer
and others are suing McDonalds because they got fat."
Lawyer: "And which one of those categories do you fit under?"
Woman: "Neither. I just want to know if I can sue Smirnoff Ice for all
the ugly men I've slept with?"
--------------------------------
The head nurse was nearing retirement, she had seen
just about everything come through the hospital's
labor and delivery unit and always remained calm and
unruffled. A sixteen-year-old in labor was having a
lot of pain, writhing on the bed, fighting her
contractions, swearing, and refusing to consider
epidural analgesia. Streams of obscenities erupted
from her room and the girl yelled F**K right into the
nurse's face.
With absolute calm, the nurse patted the girl's arm
and said, "You've already done that part. Now it's
time to have the baby."
........................
    |
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