Friday, October 27, 2006

//Dil Se Desi// ye pyar sirf dard hi kyon deti hai(plz read)[EHSAAS A TRUTH STORY OF MOD AGE]

EHSAAS
Part – I

Part-1

Ye kahani jo ek haqiqat hai …ek Aadhunik(modern) jamane ki aisi
kahani jis par koi Yaqin nahin karna chahega…lekin mujhe pura Yaqin
hai ,,, jo bhi is kahani ko is ke aakhri shabd tak parhega uski
antaraatma tak ye awaj jarur pahuchegi ..ho sakta hai wah awaj aaj
kal ke kuch noujawano ke liye ek sabak ho , kuch ke liye ek majak ho
aur kuch ke liye ek shard ehsas ho……..Jo bhi is kahani ko parhna
suru karega main usse ek sawal puchna chahunga…kya aapko hawaon se
muhbbat hai…? Yaqinan Aapka jwab hann ho ga aap kahegen ki jo mujhe
jindagi deti hai..mujhe usse muhbbat kyon nahin hogi?…aur ye bilkul
sach bhi hai…hamne hawaon ko nahin dekha …bas use ham mahsus karte
hain…lekin hame phir bhi usse muhbbat hai..kyon ki wah mujhe jindagi
deti hai…. Lekin uus ehsas ka kya kahoge jiska koi chehra maine
nahin dekha (lekin wah hawa nahin hai ) … jise sirf maine mahus
kiya hai aur karta rahta hun…wah ehsas jo mere nas nass main sama
gaee .mere khun ke ek ek katre main uski khusbu mahsus karta rahta
hun…wah ehsas jiske ke liye maine kitni hi raaton ko qurban kar diya…
jis ke liye meri aankhen hamesa nam rahti hai … jis ki ek ek yaad
mujhe dard deti hai…ek aisa ehsas jiske liye main aaj bhi tarapta
hun…..meri zindagi ki har saanse jis ehsas ko chumna chahti
hai….wah ehsas jise main apne dil se kabhi nahin nikal paaya …bahut
kosis ki maine lekin sab bekar……maine upar waale se ro ro kar duwa
ki ke is ehsas ko mere dil se nikal de…lekin us khuda ne bhi meri
duwa qabul na ki …shayad is ki wajah ye bhi hogi..ki mujhe us hasti
se beintahan muhabbat hai …itni muhabbat ki uske saamne mujh jaise
ek bande ka khuda se koi bhi lagau bouna sabit hoga…sayad isliye
usne bhi mera saath nhin diya….tarapta raha main hamesa ke
liye….mujhe hanse hue jamana ho chukka hai bas honton par ek phiki
se muskurahat aa jati hai kabhi-kabhi ….wah bhi jab main khud par
hansta hun..apni bebasi par hansta hun….apne un aankhon par hansta
hun jo aaj bhi uske ek jhalak ko tarasti hai….wah aankhen jo is
ehsas ko ek chehre main dekhna chahti hai….wah aankhen jo shayad
pyasi hi is duniya se fanaa ho jayegi….. wah aankhen jisne apne itne
aansun bahaye…ki ab wah sukh chuki hai…wah bechari bahut rona chahti
hai lekin ro nahin paati….lekin ek kasak hai uske dil men ki kaas..
kass ke main use dekh sakun kasss …wah lamha jise main qaid kar
sakun…..lekin wah lamha kabhi nahin aayega kabhi nahin……ye aankhen
tarasti rahegin …ye dil tarapta rahega….ye pal pal ki ghutan hamesa
mere dil ko jalati rahegi….rag rag main uska ehasas dourta rahega…
jab tak …jab tak….mujhe mout na nasib ho jaayeee …..aaaahhh kitna
dard ho ta hai …..bahut jyada bahut hi jyada dard…..jisne mere andar
ke insane ko khatm kar diya…aur ek khokhle insan ko is duniya ke
saamne la kar khara kar diya….jo jindon ke basti main murdon ki
tarah khara hai …..main puchta hun ki ek anjan hasti kya ek insan ke
ragon men …uske sanson men..us ke dharkano me …us ki har ek shai
main jo uski zindagi se juri huee hai ..ko hata kar sirf apna wajud
chhor sakti hai??….aaakhir ye jhuth hai to kyon? …. Kyon maine us
hasti ko apne sarre wajud main pewast kar liya?…kyon use apne
dharkano me jagah di?…kyon use apne saanson par raaj karne diya?…
kyon wah mere rag rag main sama chuki hai? Kyonnnnnnnnnnn ?????akhir
kyonnnnnnnn…????? .pagal ho jata hun kabhi-kabhi ye sab soch kar….ek
anjan hasti ne jise maine aaj tak dekha nahin usne mujhe kya se kya
bana diya…….. aaj main bahut ghutan mahsus kar raha hun bahut hi
jyada ….pata nahin mere andar ka insan mujhse kah raha hai ki ek
kalam utha aur apne ehsas ko kagjon par utar de mere andar ka insan
mujhse kah raha hai …ki main apne is ehsas ko shabdon ke shakl main
kore kagjon par sajaun use is kore kaagjon ki dulhan banaun
….shayad ..shayad is se mujhe sukun mile …shyad yeh sukun mujhe is
ghutan bhari ehsah se mujhe aajad kar sake….shayad main apni
muskurahaton ko pa sakun …shayad ek maa apne bete ko pa le ..shayad
ek bahan apne bhaee ko hansta dekh sake ….Shayad ek dost mujhe phir
se apne gale se laga le …shayad yeh duniya jo mujhse se ruth chuki
hai ..phir se mujhe apne aaagos me le le …..shayad..Shayad .. Shayad
is liye main apne ehsas ko shabdon ke shakl dene par majbur hun …….

PLZ WAIT FOR NEX PART BYEE

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